I had planned to take a nice leisurely trip through the town of
Malaga when we were in port last week. But thanks to the fire training that I had to take that went longer than expected I got a late start. Once I got to the shuttle bus to get out of the immediate port area, I discovered I didn’t have enough Euros to pay for a round-trip bus fare. Since banks are closed by 4 PM, the lady at the information booth told me that the only place I could get a currency exchange, was the large department store in town. This place reminds me Of a Macy's and Nordstrom of yesteryear! Each floor in the store was designated for a particular gender and age group and there were 2 clerks for each counter in the store! Once I finally located the financial section of the store, which was two floors below the street level, I was relieved to find that it was also well stocked with personnel, but unfortunately none of them spoke English or understood "Lyles Spanish"! When I finally got it across to them that I want to change dollars for euros (so I could pay the bus fare to get back to the boat) I thought it would be all downhill from there! Well, I was right about it being downhill. But I was wrong about what was at the bottom of that hill waiting for me! First of all, after consulting among the other seven or was it eight, employees the clerk informed me that there is a minimum of $50 that was required before she could do an exchange of currency. No problem
, I thought it! I gave her the other 2 $20”s I had making a total of $60. Oh did I mention that I needed to have my passport to this large monetary transaction?! Which they are holding on the Jade so I can't escape and leave them without completing my contract!(Actually crew members jumping ship can be a rather costly problem for Cruise lines! Unlike the
USA, the European countries take their boarders rather seriously. And they pass on any expenses incurred in tracking down and expelling any unauthorized visitors to the ship they jumped from.) No problem I have my drivers license for just such situations. I gave that to her, but instead of satisfying her questions, it led to more conferences with the other seven or eight employees. And this time it included another customer, who happened to be standing there gave her opinion on the questionable nature of my drivers license! Once they get done looking me up on the Internet, and verifying my name and address on my license, she then turned her attention to the money. After several more conferences. She finally brought the money back over to me and indicated that she was not happy with on of the $20 bill because the edge was frayed from where it had been fooled in half! I told herI would be glad to take that $20 bill back, since all I had wanted to exchange was the $20 bill I had given her previously! But I told her and showed her that was all the money that I had in my wallet! More conferences! More mumblings! Time passes, SLOWLY!!!! Finally they decided to go ahead and approve my transaction. She indicated I was too sign on the electronic signature box. Either she had forgotten that I had given her $60 or she thought I wasn’t smart enough to know the difference between $50 or $60 in Euros, … Must have been the first! Anyway you get the picture I am sure. But now it was in the computer, so apparently it required a supervisor to override the transaction and change it to the correct amount! I was beginning to see why this place was in the underground bunker underneath the store! I believe it is for the same reason that the dungeons in the castle's of
Europe were placed underneath the ground to keep the victims and their screams of torment from escaping their place of torture! About the time I was beginning to despair of ever seeing my fellow shipmates again, the supervisor showed up, put in her magic code and key, and handed me my Euros and three pages of papers to sign. As I staggered out of the dungeon, I would have fallen to my knees to kiss the ground, but I was almost late for the boat as it was! Beside, I wouldn't want to be accused of being over dramatic about something as "simple as a currency exchange"!
I had planned to take a nice leisurely trip through the town of 
What a hilarious telling of a story that I know wasn't too funny at the time! I know you thoroughly enjoyed that shore excursion :) You had me laughing out loud on that last caption...originally I was thinking how handsome you looked!!
ReplyDeleteWow... I'm just glad you were able to make it back to the boat without having to walk :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for the laugh, not that I don't feel your pain! It reminds me of trying to replace my US passport in Korean after it was stolen with a Canadian birth certificate!
ReplyDeleteAnd no, the turn outs don't make you hits look big. Fire turn outs are chick magnets! Watch out!